Dominic Declares March

Dominic shouted, "I Declare March Dominic Awareness Month! Be aware! Beware! Be very Aware!"

Everyone knows that March is already Women's History Month, 

Dominic Is Starting New Trends

Dominic keeps squirting lotion between his toes and then wrapping them in plastic wrap. 

"Toes Fungus is the new 30!" shouted Dominic!  

I don't think that toe fungus will ever be the new 30. 

Dominic Cares About Animal Cruelty

"Fur is Murder!" Dominic shouted as he dumped a gallon of paint on Granny. 

I'm pretty sure Dominic knew Granny's coat was not made from real snow leopards; he was there when I bought it for Grandma's birthday.  Now how is Granny going to stay warm this winter? 

Dominic Has All the Answers

Dominic has all of the answers.  "But I don't know where I put them!" Dominic shouted. 

It took me forever to put those answers together and now I'm going to have to start all over again.  

Dominic Wants to Play a Board Game

Dominic demanded that I play a board game with him.  "I go first!" Dominic shouted.   After picking a card and moving his piece two purple spaces, he shouted "I have to use the bathroom!  I'll be right back!"  Two hours later I noticed that Dominic had slipped out the bathroom window and had run away.  He had glued a note to the mirror that shouted, "You put the board in board game!" 

 It's going to be really hard to clean up all this glue. 

Dominic Asked Me to Proofread a Letter

Dominic asked me to proof read a letter, which stated "By reading this contract you agree to stay current on all my blogs and posts at all times!!!!"

"Now get reading!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic Wanted Me to Drink Weather Appropriate Drinks

Dominic did not think that it was appropriate for me to drink a frozen Margarita in this cold weather.

"I made your Margarita more seasonally appropriate!" Dominic shouted.  "I mixed it with a cup of hot cocoa!"

Dominic Purchased a New Van

When I realized that the ice cream truck had just driven up and down my street for the eighth time blasting the 1812 Overture, I knew that Dominic had purchased a new van.  There's only person who knows how much I hate the 1812 Overture.

Not to mention the sound of children shouting at an ice cream man who won't stop.

Dominic Is Learning Old Western Saloon Songs

"I need that authentic saloon sound, so I un-tuned your piano!" Dominic shouted. 

Twinkle Variations is not a saloon song.  

Dominic is Taking Asses and Kicking Names

Dominic knows that it took me hours to match up those asses with their names and now I'm going to have to start all over again.

Dominic Is Giving Back to His Alma Mater

"I don't need this anymore!' Dominic shouted and he slapped his diploma on the desk of the registrar. 

"I need my $70,000 worth of tuition money back!"

Did Dominic even pay for college in the first place?

Dominic Got Everyone to Send a Special Message for my Birthday.

Dominic wanted me to have a special birthday, so he emailed all of my friends and told them that I was trying to better myself and wanted everyone to tell me what biggest personality flaws were.

Dominic is Standing Up for His Rights

Dominic is suing his book club for Human Rights violations. 

"It's a my right to choose 50 Shades of Gray!"  Dominic shouted. 

But Dominic, you've never actually attended book club. 

Dominic Took Revenge.

"This will teach you to spit up on my new tee shirt!"  Dominic shouted as he slashed the tires on his son's stroller.  

Dominic Took a Spill

Dominic knew the entire nation was waiting for the election returns from his district before the election could be called.  They were almost done counting the ballet when Dominic "tripped" and knocked over all 536,084 ballets and they all had to be counted all over again. 

I had to stay up for 4:00 AM to find out who won the election.  

Dominic Might "Win" on Iron Chef

Dominic took the ingredients and made an unforgettable soufflé, but the judges unanimously decided that it was just awful. 
"Yes, that's the ammonia. It cleanses the palate!" Dominic shouted. "Now who's the big winner!?!?"

Dominic Loves His New Ambiguous Job Description

St. Vincent's Home of Sad Orphans should have been more clear about what kind of help they were looking for when asking for volunteers.  

Apparently Dominic thinks the orphanage was looking for a volunteer to raid the fridge and break all the toys.  

Dominic Studied for His Exam

"I got a perfect score!" Dominic shouted. "I stayed up all night studying and completely blew away my optometrist!  Now I don't have to wear these unsightly glasses anymore!"

Dominic, I don't think cheating on your eye exam is going to help you.

"I didn't cheat!  I studied!!!!!!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic Won't Eat the Nice Sandwich I made for Him

"I hate crusts on sandwiches!" Dominic shouted. "I'm not eating it until you cut all the crust off!"

But, Dominic, I made the sandwich on a sub roll.

"So!?" Dominic shouted. "Just use a carrot peeler!"

Dominic is Giving a Safety First Lecture

"As a pedestrian, you always have the right of way!  There's no need to look both ways!" Dominic shouted.  "Looking both ways will make you appear weak!  Looking weak led to more pedestrian deaths in 2011 then it did it 2010!  It's an epidemic!!!"

Dominic couldn't site the source of his statistic.  Making up statistics is very unprofessional and I spent a lot of money to attend this conference.