Dominic is Sorry He Broke a Coffee Mug

"I accidentally broke the handle off of a mug from your new matching set of coffee mugs!"  Dominic shouted.  "I am so sorry!" he sobbed, "I tried to replace it, but they only sell them in sets of 2, so I broke off the handles on all the other mugs, so at least they will still match!"

Dominic Let You Think for a Moment that You were Finally Free

"Ha! Ha!" Dominic shouted. "I just put your cage inside a larger prison!"

Dominic's New Hobby is Shaving Cats

"Now you're aerodynamic, Colonel Whiskers!!" Dominic shouted. "Fly! Be free!"

Dominic Threatened to Sick His Army on Me

"I've been growing an army and they are almost ready for battle!" Dominic shouted.  ''They have been trained to show no mercy!"  

Actually, Dominic's sunflower army is a little bit menacing.  

Dominic Asked a Stupid Question

The lady running the seminar said we shouldn't be shy. "There's no such thing as a stupid question," she said.

"This is not a statement so long as I end it with a question mark!?" Dominic shouted

Dominic is Making Feeble Excuses

"That was your goldfish?!" Dominic shouted. "I'm so sorry! I thought it was a bag of microwave popcorn!"

"Lots of people I know keep their popcorn in a fishbowl, so it was an honest mistake!"

On a related topic, someone's gotta clean out the microwave now, 'cause you know Dominic isn't going to.

Dominic Organized a Scavenger Hunt

"I get 75% of everything you find!!!" Dominic shouted at the participating children. "You have to dig up the treasures!! They are buried in front of the stone markers...in coffins!"

Dominic Asked About My Trip to the Library

I told Dominic that the Silmarillion was checked out, so I got something else.

Dominic then shouted, "I can't believe that in this city's huge library network, all 37 copies of Silmarillion have been taken out! Someone must have driven to every single library to get them! It must have taken them four hours and twenty minutes and an entire tank of gas!"

How did Dominic know that the city library network owns 37 copies of the Silmarillion? I guess I should have known better than to tell him what I was planning on borrowing from the library.

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Watching me do this makes you an accessory after the fact!" Dominic shouted as he put the cop car in neutral and rolled it into the swamp.

Dominic Used the Word "Mullioned" Just so Everyone Would Know that he Knew what Mullioned Windows Are

"Ha! Ha!" Dominic shouted. "That guy sure is bleeding a lot after I threw him through those mullioned windows!"

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Don't accuse me of blackmailing you!" Dominic shouted. "I'm extorting you! There's a difference!"

Dominic Put My Step Ladder Away.

Dominic put my step ladder up really high. Now, how am I supposed to get that down.

Dominic Upgraded Your Instrument

"I put viola strings on your violin! Now you can play much lower!" Dominic shouted

I wish he had told me that before my humiliating quartet performance at my sister's wedding.

Dominic Came Up with a Storage Solution

"I gave all of your books to the library!" Dominic shouted. "Now you can just check them out anytime you need them."

Well, actually, the library sold everything except for the photo albums. Those were thrown out.

Dominic is Showing You his Gun Collection

"Check out my new Glock!" Dominic shouted. "Be sure to get your fingerprints all over it!"

Dominic Was Using the Microwave

All the children were looking forward to eating their favorite Easter treat, Peeps; however, Dominic got up very early and microwaved all of them until they exploded. "The Purple ones are the most flammable!" Dominic shouted.

I don't think all of those layers of burnt marshmallow are going to come off.

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"What I'm doing right now is completely illegal!" Dominic shouted as he poured gasoline over his company's financial records.

Dominic Shaved Your Head

"You're such a sound sleeper!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic is Trying to Convince You to get a Facial Tattoo

"It will make up for your lack of an interesting personality!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic Wants to Play "Snakes on a Plane"

"I don't have any snakes or a plane, so we'll just have to make-believe with your minivan filled ankle deep with nightcrawlers!" Dominic shouted.