Thursday, October 30, 2008

Dominic Hurled the Big Screen TV Through the Window

"There's nothing good on!" he shouted.

Well, totalling up the cost of the flat-screen, the double-pane window, and the faux-wood venitian blind, that's about $3,400 dollars in damages. :(

"There's nothing good on!" Dominic shouted again.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Dominic is Making Crystal Meth in His Kitchen

Do you think that's rather white-trashy of him? Dominic doesn't.

"Crystal meth is the height of elegance and sophistication!" Dominic shouted.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Dominic is Not to be Found Anywhere

Does anyone know where Dominic is?

I hope he's not hiding in the bushes at the rest stop again. ;)

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Dominic is Going Crazy with That Cinder Block

He threw it through your windshield. :(

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Dominic Got Hammered Drinking the Table Wine, Turned, and Threw Up All Down the Front of Your Date's Brand New Dress That She Just Bought

Now you know why I didn't sit down at the dinner party table until I saw where Dominic was sitting so I could take a chair far away from him. ;)

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Dominic Forgot to Securely Shut the Back of the Truck

He spilled dead cats all over the freeway. :(

Monday, October 13, 2008

Dominic Told You to Use the Back of the Sofa for Cover

Bad idea. Bullets are just going to go right through that. :(

Friday, October 10, 2008

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Dominic is Foreclosing on Your Home

When you signed the loan from him, he told you that your rates would go up "slightly" within the first three years.

I guess for Dominic, "slightly" means "900%." ;P

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Dominic is a Real Piece of Work, I Hear

Have you heard of this guy Dominic? Sounds like a real piece of work if you ask me.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Dominic Just Chucked the Dead Body off the Freeway Overpass

I’m pretty sure when you find a dead body you're supposed to drive it to the police station or something, not just toss it off the overpass.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Dominic Shouted, "I Feel Sick! I'm Gonna Throw Up!"

Someone take Nana's urn away from him! Quick!

Friday, October 3, 2008

Dominic Shouted, "Watch Me Do a Sexy Dance!"

No, Dominic. I don't want to watch you do a sexy dance.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Dominic Opened a Day Care Center

Here's what the sign outside says:

Dominic's Day Care

"We never forget that your children are a fungible commodity!"

I assume that you already know what the word "fungible" means, but just in case you don't: It means never leave your children at Dominic's Day Care!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008