Saturday, April 28, 2012

Dominic Asked About My Trip to the Library

I told Dominic that the Silmarillion was checked out, so I got something else.

Dominic then shouted, "I can't believe that in this city's huge library network, all 37 copies of Silmarillion have been taken out! Someone must have driven to every single library to get them! It must have taken them four hours and twenty minutes and an entire tank of gas!"

How did Dominic know that the city library network owns 37 copies of the Silmarillion? I guess I should have known better than to tell him what I was planning on borrowing from the library.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Watching me do this makes you an accessory after the fact!" Dominic shouted as he put the cop car in neutral and rolled it into the swamp.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Dominic Used the Word "Mullioned" Just so Everyone Would Know that he Knew what Mullioned Windows Are

"Ha! Ha!" Dominic shouted. "That guy sure is bleeding a lot after I threw him through those mullioned windows!"

Friday, April 20, 2012

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Don't accuse me of blackmailing you!" Dominic shouted. "I'm extorting you! There's a difference!"

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Dominic Put My Step Ladder Away.

Dominic put my step ladder up really high. Now, how am I supposed to get that down.

Sunday, April 15, 2012

Dominic Upgraded Your Instrument

"I put viola strings on your violin! Now you can play much lower!" Dominic shouted

I wish he had told me that before my humiliating quartet performance at my sister's wedding.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Dominic Came Up with a Storage Solution

"I gave all of your books to the library!" Dominic shouted. "Now you can just check them out anytime you need them."

Well, actually, the library sold everything except for the photo albums. Those were thrown out.

Monday, April 9, 2012

Dominic is Showing You his Gun Collection

"Check out my new Glock!" Dominic shouted. "Be sure to get your fingerprints all over it!"

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Dominic Was Using the Microwave

All the children were looking forward to eating their favorite Easter treat, Peeps; however, Dominic got up very early and microwaved all of them until they exploded. "The Purple ones are the most flammable!" Dominic shouted.

I don't think all of those layers of burnt marshmallow are going to come off.

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"What I'm doing right now is completely illegal!" Dominic shouted as he poured gasoline over his company's financial records.

Monday, April 2, 2012

Dominic Shaved Your Head

"You're such a sound sleeper!" Dominic shouted.