Thursday, May 28, 2009

Dominic Took a Message

"Everything is catching on fire!" says the note Dominic left on your desk.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Dominic is Growing a Mullet

"Don't call it a mullet!" Dominic shouted. "This hairstyle is called a Kentucky Waterfall! Not a mullet!"

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Dominic is Saying That Our True Enemy Has Yet to Reveal Himself

However, I'm pretty sure that guy who was chasing us with a knife was our true enemy.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Dominic Hates Washing Dishes

"It's naughty to fret, but I think washing dishes and keeping things tidy is the worst work in the world! It makes me cross!" Dominic shouted.

Since when did Dominic start talking like that?

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Dominic Has a Question for You

"HOW CAN YOU SLEEP AT NIGHT!?!" Dominic shouted.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Dominic's Favorite Color is Blue

"I'm advancing to the nearest blue square!" Dominic shouted.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Dominic Doesn't Want You as His Wingman

"You're everyone's problem!" Dominic shouted. "That's because every time you go up in the air, you're unsafe! I don't like you because you're dangerous!"

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Dominic Wrote His Doctoral Dissertation on the Thesis that "Best Friends R 2 Good + 2 B = 4 Gotten"

"I always confuse my doctoral dissertation with the annual yearbook signing!" Dominic shouted.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Dominic Thinks He Has a Way to Get Away with Stealing a Car

Dominic shouted, "Anytime you steal a car, you should announce loudly, 'Hey! Is this a free car?! Then, when the cops pull you over for driving a stolen vehicle, act surprised and really disappointed that you can't keep your 'free car!' If they feel sorry enough for you, they might let you keep it!"

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dominic is living in the 80's

"Tabletop nuclear fusion is within our reach!" Dominic shouted.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Dominic Believes Everything He Reads in Dan Brown Novels is Real

"I think it's terrible that the Catholic Church blew up Illuminati founder, Copernicus, using the antimatter bomb developed by Switzerland's CERN laboratory!" Dominic shouted.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Dominic Wants You to Drink Meat Juice

"Look at how much juice I can get from just one steak!" Dominic shouted as he shoved a rib eye into a Jack Lalaine "Juice Man" juicer.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Dominic is Darning His Socks

"I darn you, socks!" Dominic shouted into his sock drawer. "I darn you to heck!"

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Dominic is Replacing Street Signs That He Believes are Erronious

"This street sign says, 'SLOW HIDDEN DRIVEWAY'!" Dominic shouted. "I'm replacing it with this more accurate sign that says, 'HIDDEN DRIVEWAY DOESN'T MOVE AT ALL'!"

Monday, May 4, 2009

Dominic is Donating Blood

"I don't care how much Fred complains!" Dominic shouted, "I'm donating his blood because I'm such a selfless guy!"