Thursday, March 29, 2012

Dominic is Trying to Convince You to get a Facial Tattoo

"It will make up for your lack of an interesting personality!" Dominic shouted.

Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Dominic Wants to Play "Snakes on a Plane"

"I don't have any snakes or a plane, so we'll just have to make-believe with your minivan filled ankle deep with nightcrawlers!" Dominic shouted.

Saturday, March 24, 2012

Dominic Started a French Language School

"“Répéte après moi, classe!” Dominic Shouted

Nous avons seulement un capo , Dominic!!!

Nous sommes chanceux pour avoir Dominic car notre Capo et lui nous donne la joie pour faire son offrir!!!

Je voudrais sacrifier ma vie pour Dominic, le Capo!!!

I can't believe what he is teaching those kids. Clearly "Capo" is "leader" in Italian and not French, which would be "le chef" and he's shouting as if it were German. What a jerk.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Fifty bucks is a good offer to a cop to get out of a speeding ticket!" Dominic shouted. "But judges tend to be much more pricey. If I were you, I'd offer him at least three hundred!"

Dominic, you shouldn't be shouting that in court. We're sitting just a few paces away from the judge.

Monday, March 19, 2012

Dominic Demands to Know Why

"I demand to know why you would bring a plate of empty cannoli shells to the party!" Dominic shouted.

I think we all know what happened to the cannoli filling.

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Dominic Suggested We Go On An Adventure

Dominic suggested that we follow the rainbow to the pot of gold together. I told Dominic that I just had to go to the bathroom and then I'd be ready. When I came out, Dominic was peeling out and shouted, "See You Later, Sucker!"

Then I noticed that he had slashed my tires, so I couldn't follow him.

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Dominic Told Me I was Doomed

Dominic told me that I was doomed. "You're Doomed!" Dominic shouted.

Then he put omens all around my house, so that I would believe him.

He knows how much I hate omens.

Tuesday, March 6, 2012

Dominic is Starting His Own Business.

Dominic has opened a new office on a busy road. "Tarot Card Reading!!! I can solve all of your problems!" the bright neon sign shouts.

Is Dominic even board certified? I'm pretty sure those are Old Maid cards.

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Dominic Claims He Knows How to Get High

Dominic insisted that he can get high from eating an entire jar of peanut butter. "I'll prove it!" shouted Dominic. But half way through, he fell fast asleep.

I guess you really can get high by eating a jar of peanut butter.