Thursday, September 24, 2009

Dominic is Retaining Water

"Look!" Dominic shouted. "I dammed up the river and made a little pond!"

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Dominic is Cooking Tiny Game Birds

"These birds are considered something of a delicacy in some countries!" Dominic shouted. "They're so little, you actually eat the bones rather than trying to get the meat off!"

Didn't you used to have parakeets?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Dominic Got a "Hands Free" Headset for the Car

"I was so sick of having to use my hands to steer the car!" Dominic shouted as he folded his arms across his chest, floored the gas pedal, and took off down the freeway.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Dominic has a Rendezvous with History

"Don't tell Destiny!" Dominic shouted "She'll just get jealous if she finds out I'm rendezvousing with someone else!"

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Dominic is a Robot

His programming is so complex that you can talk to him for hours and totally forget that he isn't even human.

Monday, September 14, 2009

Dominic Has the Worst Chili Recipie Ever

There is no meat; there are no beans; there are no tomatoes; and there are no chiles.

This is a bowl of pure capsaicin and nothing else.

"What are you waiting for!?" Dominic shouted. "Eat up!"

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Dominic is Always Trying to Convince Me to Sign up for the Slave Mines

"The beautiful thing about the Slave Mines is that they're not just your home!" Dominic shouted. "They're also your grave!"

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Dominic Says His Life is a Dashing Bold Adventure

"I shot a guy for this candy bar!" Dominic shouted.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Dominic Only Hurts the People He Loves

"I'm giving you twenty bucks because I hate your guts!" Dominic shouted.

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

Dominic Asked a Stupid Question

The lady running the seminar said we shouldn't be shy. "There's no such thing as a stupid question," she said.

"Can you see me when I do this?!" Dominic shouted, shutting his eyes as tightly as he could.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dominic's Glove Compartment is Wedged Shut

When I finally pried it open, I discovered the problem; it was stuffed with dead cats.

"Don't throw those out!" Dominic shouted. "I need those for later!"