Monday, October 31, 2011

Dominic is passing out candy for Halloween

"I'm passing out Halloween Candy this year!" Dominic shouted as he grabbed a bag of chocolate covered espresso beans and began to open the door to trick-or-treaters.

No, Dominic the wig on your Lady Godiva costume is not long enough! There are children on the other side of that door!

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Dominic Says He Has a Naval Officer Costume On

I don’t think that cussing like a sailor constitutes a naval officer costume.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Dominic Won’t Stop Talking Like a Mastercard Commercial.

Cheese puffs: $5

Pants" $5!

Not having to use a napkin: Priceless!


Television $5!

Sitting on the couch to watch television: Priceless!

Gallon of gasoline: $5!

Cigarette Lighter: $5!

Setting the couch and television on fire: Priceless!

I don't think Dominic understands the value of the dollar. Probably because these things were mine.

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Dominic Requested the Pat Down at the Airport

Dominic taped mouse traps all over his body and then requested the pat down at the airport.

I wish he had let me go in line first.

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Dominic Wanted Me to Feel Fresh

When I was in a hurry to leave to work, I noticed that all of my underwear was missing and in it's place there was a note:


Dominic should know better than to say "More fresher"

Friday, October 21, 2011

Dominic Remarks on Poverty in America

Dominic doesn’t under stand how in this land of plenty there could be children who don’t get enough to eat.

“Just look at all this road kill I was able to find today!” Dominic shouted.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Dominic Approves of My New Couch

"It's perfect!! The fabric itches my rash while absorbing the leakage.” Dominic shouted.

Now I know why he talked me out of getting the leather couch.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Dominic Made "Improvements" to the Portrait Hanging in the Living Room.

"I painted him a mustache and a sombrero! Mexico is really in this season!" shouted Dominic.

That painting was the only likeness that existed of my grandmother. :-(

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Dominic Is Trying to Convince Me He Can Tell My Fortune By Reading His Son's Dirty Diapers.

"You just gotta look really really close!" shouted Dominic.

No, I'm not falling for that trick again.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Dominic Keeps Throwing Up

"Don't stop on account of me! Hweerghfwrelluuuupppppp!" Dominic shouted. "The Parade of Muffin Tops in Halter Tops must go on! Bwarfwaggggloppppr!!"

Why did Dominic even ask to be a judge in this event?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Dominic Hates Christmas Song Parodies

"The only thing Batman smells like is justice!" Dominic screamed, shaking his fist at the terrified fourth graders.

Today's DMMA post was submitted by John D.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Dominic Traded the Time Share.

"We're going to Akron!" Dominic shouted.

The children had been so excited about finally going to Disney World.

Sunday, October 9, 2011

Dominic “bought” His Son a Bag of Rocks

“Teaching your son to throw rocks at cars is not just a right of passage…it’s a duty of passage” Dominic shouted.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Dominic Claims He's an Undercover Double Agent

"I'm posing as Team Edward, but actually I'm Team Jacob!" shouted Dominic. "They'll never know what hit them!"

No, I don't suppose they will

Friday, October 7, 2011

Dominic Baked a Beautiful Cake

Dominic baked a beautiful cake for his son's birthday party.

"The secret ingredient is love!" Dominic shouted

But as all the guests found out, the secret ingredient was actually pepper spray.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Dominic Started a New blog

It took a couple of months before I finally got around to checking out Dominic's new "Blog of Emotions!" which reads exactly like the diary I kept in high school.

"I can't believe you just left your diary lying around under your mattress" Dominic shouted