Dominic Asked About My Trip to the Library

I told Dominic that the Silmarillion was checked out, so I got something else.

Dominic then shouted, "I can't believe that in this city's huge library network, all 37 copies of Silmarillion have been taken out! Someone must have driven to every single library to get them! It must have taken them four hours and twenty minutes and an entire tank of gas!"

How did Dominic know that the city library network owns 37 copies of the Silmarillion? I guess I should have known better than to tell him what I was planning on borrowing from the library.

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Watching me do this makes you an accessory after the fact!" Dominic shouted as he put the cop car in neutral and rolled it into the swamp.

Dominic Used the Word "Mullioned" Just so Everyone Would Know that he Knew what Mullioned Windows Are

"Ha! Ha!" Dominic shouted. "That guy sure is bleeding a lot after I threw him through those mullioned windows!"

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Don't accuse me of blackmailing you!" Dominic shouted. "I'm extorting you! There's a difference!"

Dominic Put My Step Ladder Away.

Dominic put my step ladder up really high. Now, how am I supposed to get that down.

Dominic Upgraded Your Instrument

"I put viola strings on your violin! Now you can play much lower!" Dominic shouted

I wish he had told me that before my humiliating quartet performance at my sister's wedding.

Dominic Came Up with a Storage Solution

"I gave all of your books to the library!" Dominic shouted. "Now you can just check them out anytime you need them."

Well, actually, the library sold everything except for the photo albums. Those were thrown out.

Dominic is Showing You his Gun Collection

"Check out my new Glock!" Dominic shouted. "Be sure to get your fingerprints all over it!"

Dominic Was Using the Microwave

All the children were looking forward to eating their favorite Easter treat, Peeps; however, Dominic got up very early and microwaved all of them until they exploded. "The Purple ones are the most flammable!" Dominic shouted.

I don't think all of those layers of burnt marshmallow are going to come off.

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"What I'm doing right now is completely illegal!" Dominic shouted as he poured gasoline over his company's financial records.

Dominic Shaved Your Head

"You're such a sound sleeper!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic is Trying to Convince You to get a Facial Tattoo

"It will make up for your lack of an interesting personality!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic Wants to Play "Snakes on a Plane"

"I don't have any snakes or a plane, so we'll just have to make-believe with your minivan filled ankle deep with nightcrawlers!" Dominic shouted.

Dominic Started a French Language School

"“Répéte après moi, classe!” Dominic Shouted

Nous avons seulement un capo , Dominic!!!

Nous sommes chanceux pour avoir Dominic car notre Capo et lui nous donne la joie pour faire son offrir!!!

Je voudrais sacrifier ma vie pour Dominic, le Capo!!!

I can't believe what he is teaching those kids. Clearly "Capo" is "leader" in Italian and not French, which would be "le chef" and he's shouting as if it were German. What a jerk.

Dominic is Giving Legal Advice

"Fifty bucks is a good offer to a cop to get out of a speeding ticket!" Dominic shouted. "But judges tend to be much more pricey. If I were you, I'd offer him at least three hundred!"

Dominic, you shouldn't be shouting that in court. We're sitting just a few paces away from the judge.

Dominic Demands to Know Why

"I demand to know why you would bring a plate of empty cannoli shells to the party!" Dominic shouted.

I think we all know what happened to the cannoli filling.

Dominic Suggested We Go On An Adventure

Dominic suggested that we follow the rainbow to the pot of gold together. I told Dominic that I just had to go to the bathroom and then I'd be ready. When I came out, Dominic was peeling out and shouted, "See You Later, Sucker!"

Then I noticed that he had slashed my tires, so I couldn't follow him.

Dominic Told Me I was Doomed

Dominic told me that I was doomed. "You're Doomed!" Dominic shouted.

Then he put omens all around my house, so that I would believe him.

He knows how much I hate omens.

Dominic is Starting His Own Business.

Dominic has opened a new office on a busy road. "Tarot Card Reading!!! I can solve all of your problems!" the bright neon sign shouts.

Is Dominic even board certified? I'm pretty sure those are Old Maid cards.

Dominic Claims He Knows How to Get High

Dominic insisted that he can get high from eating an entire jar of peanut butter. "I'll prove it!" shouted Dominic. But half way through, he fell fast asleep.

I guess you really can get high by eating a jar of peanut butter.