"So, I could totally tell that Jon and Kate were heading for a divorce long before anyone else picked up on it!" Dominic shouted. "I just read the signals!"
"I wouldn't know," I said, hoping that Dominic would stop telling me about these people soon. "I never watch the show.
"And when it came out that Jon had an affair, I knew that everyone would automatically take Jon's side!" Dominic shouted. "Everyone thinks that Kate is such a horrible nag that they believed she just drove Jon away!"
"I don't know anything about this," I said. "I really have no idea who these people are."
"Now Jon's true nature is coming out and people are starting to see what I've been saying all along!" Dominic shouted. "Jon's just a money-grubbing opportunist! Kate's better off without him!"
"I really don't want to know about any of this," I said. "I never watch the show, I don't care about them, and I have absolutely zero interest in learning anything about Jon and Kate's marital problems."
"Oh, good!" Dominic shouted. "That means you're a neutral party! Lemme explain how this all came about starting in season one!"
Dominic then went on to explain in detail how Jon and Kate's marriage evolved from season one, completely ignoring the fact that tears were streaming down my face as I screamed "LALALALALA!" at the top of my lungs and repeatedly punched my ears, hoping to inflict permanent deafness.