Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Dominic Owns a Nickleback CD

Dominic was driving along and all of the sudden he pulls out a Nickleback CD and slaps it in the player. "These guys totally rock!" he shouted.

I can't believe Dominic spent actual money on a Nickleback CD. >:(


Anonymous said...

Ryan. This is excellent. Keep up the good work. Dominic's "I'm an all-American, Catholic, whisky lovin, flower giving, I'm-the-best-guy-you'll-ever-meet" facade is slowly crumbling. I gotta really KNOW the guy I'm gonna marry. Ten years from now when Dominic STILL isn't washing his hands after using the bathroom, when he's stealing our children's hot dogs, and after he has successfully broken every tool in the house times three sets, I'll have you to thank for prepping me. :-) I'm thinking the stories could get really good over beer...when does your crew get together? (Pool, right?) I need to hear the stuff that's too good (or too bad) to put online!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of children...

There was this one time I asked Dominic to watch my kids for about an hour one night. Just an hour! And when I came back, 3 of my 4 kids came running out of sheer terror to meet me. Dominic put my oldest boy in the storage room, turned off the lights and threw a snake in there with him. A laughing Dominic said, "OK! Time to play snake in the dark! Find the Cotton-Mouth before he finds you!!!"

Dominic sent my oldest daughter (4 yrs old) to the liquor store for some Stoli. When she had returned from the store, he downed about 3/4of the thing in front of all of them.

Then Dominic got out my shot glasses, and made the youngest two kids (3 yr. old & 1 and a half yr. old) go shot for shot until the vodka ran out and they passed out. Dominic told me that this was how he made bedtime into a "smooth operation".

So with the oldest kid "playing" Snake-In-The-Dark, the youngest two passed out on the floor. That only left one kid to "put to bed". So what did Dominic do? He gave her $200.00 in cash, put her in a cab and sent her to the Hampton Inn down the road. He had pinned a note to her that read: "Too drunk to care for this kid. Take the 200 bucks and put her in a room so she can go to bed. Any questions, call 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

Long story short, we'll never trust Dom with our kids ever again. We have a restrining order out against him. Not that it matters much, now that he's in prison at Gitmo for all the other horrible things he has done.

Anonymous said...

He didn't buy the Nickelback cd- he stole it! And when he went to confession he didn't even say he was sorry for stealing.